Welcome to #MyPhaileDjourney: A Story of Academia, Power, and Resilience

I never imagined I’d be here, writing this blog. When I started my Ph.D. journey in my mid-fifties, I believed in the power of higher education, the pursuit of knowledge, and the potential for meaningful change. What I didn’t anticipate was the power politics, the toxicity, and the heartbreaking realization that academia is not always the meritocracy it claims to be.

This blog, #MyPhaileDJourney, is about what happens when the system fails you—when a Ph.D. program that should have supported and challenged me instead became a space of exclusion, gatekeeping, and profound personal and professional loss. It’s about how one faculty member used their position to intimidate and manipulate me, throwing roadblocks in my path and making me question my own worth. It’s about a comprehensive exam process that felt arbitrary and unfair, ultimately leading to my dismissal from the program and forcing me to "master out." It’s about how administrations and institutions protect themselves rather than the students they claim to serve.

But this isn’t just a story of failure. It’s also a story of resilience. I may not have a Ph.D., but I still have my voice, my expertise, and my determination to expose the inequities that exist within academic spaces. This journey has changed me, but it hasn’t broken me.

Through this blog, I’ll share my experiences—the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’ll reflect on what I’ve learned, what I would do differently, and how I move forward. I hope this space can serve as both a personal reckoning and a resource for others who have faced similar struggles.

If you’ve ever felt like academia let you down, if those with power have ever pushed you aside, if you’ve ever wondered what comes next after a dream is derailed—welcome. You’re not alone.

This is #MyPhaileDjourney. And it’s far from over.